Words from the Master

One man asked me, “Swamiji can you please tell me a way to find a connection with the eighteen-handed Devi.”

I told him, “First you try to find a connection with your two handed wife and then we will see how to establish a connection with the eighteen-handed Devi!”
(Laughter!)

Another man came to me and asked for blessings for a divorce.

I told him that I will give blessings for marriage but not for divorce.

I asked him what the problem was and if I could sort it out.

He told me, “Swamiji, this morning, I asked for coffee. She came with the coffee with such haste and spilt it on my clothes.”

I was shocked and told him that the incident seemed too trivial to ask for a divorce.
He went on to say, “Swamiji, you don’t know, today she poured coffee, tomorrow she will pour acid.”

I was really shocked. I told him, “Ayyah, why do you want to move from coffee to acid without any reason? All she did was spill coffee in some anger and haste and in any case, she is going to be the one who is going to wash your clothes!”

He continued, “Swamiji, during our marriage, there is a custom wherein three pots of water are kept and the couple are meant to leave their hands in all three of them to try and find a ring which has been dropped in one of them. As early as that time, she scratched my hand with her nail!”

(Laughter!)

In order to zero down the distance between the couple, small games such as these are played during the Indian weddings. The man has been keeping a 10-year track of such trivial incidents!

I told him, “Ayyah, if you maintain such a police track record, how can one live with you!”

You see: There are two things that we do. One is, presenting arguments and looking for a judgment, while the second is forming a judgment and then collecting arguments to support that judgment. The second is what we do 99% of the time.

You see, there are so many things happening around us. But we register only what we want to register, never what is really happening. Because of this, you miss reality. Reality continuously exists but you see only what you want to see. In marriage, within the first few months, the man or woman forms a judgment about the other and from then on, whatever the other does, he or she sees from point of view of the judgment. They search and collect arguments to maintain their judgment.

That is why, if you decide that your wife is a fool, she will always look like a fool to you. If you decide that your husband is the type who controls you, he will always appear in that way to you, whatever he may be doing.

If you do this, you will never be able to see the real aspects of your spouse; you will see only those aspects that feed your judgment. This is like how when you are hungry, only restaurants hit your eye on the road. Before killing a dog what do we do? We call it a mad dog and then kill it.

Drop this attitude. You will then find a certain freshness in every person and thing that you come by.

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This excerpt has been taken from the book: Guaranteed Solutions.