Words from the Master

Live with the deepest individuality that you can manage. Live to your complete satisfaction. You will lose your fear of death.

And one more thing: If you live totally, without any hangover of any feelings, when you live your emotions with great clarity and totality, you will never fear losing your family and relatives also.

You see: You fear someone’s loss only because you feel you have not justified that relationship in some way in your life; you feel you have not been in it in totality; you are not ready to let go. Physical separation is only one aspect of the fear; the real reason is lack of fulfillment in the relationship.

The word ‘justification’ comes into relationships because you have always been taught to live for the sake of others, fulfilling their needs and desires. You always feel the need to justify relationships by doing these things. And if you don’t do these things, you get into the cycle of guilt and fear. If you just live totally, with deep clarity of the whole play of society, you will never be gripped by such compulsions.

You can live with total fulfillment and still not lose out on any love in relationships. We have discussed this while talking about the Anahata chakra. The fear of physical separation is always because of a feeling of guilt with respect to that relationship. If you live totally, not with a transaction type of relationship but with just pure loving Energy towards the other, there will be no room for guilt or fear. Even if the person passes away, you will continue to feel love towards him or her, that’s all, never fear of any separation.

Even when you are living with the person, try to live with more clarity and awareness. Most often, relationships suffer because of insecurity and the lingering fear of losing one another. If you deeply analyze fear in any relationship, you will understand that because our relationships are just transactions of some sort, this fear is there.

Between a husband and wife, there is fear that the other may start looking outside of marriage. Between mother and son, there is fear that the son may start paying more attention to the wife instead of the mother. Between father and son, there is the fear that the father may not pass on the inheritance to his son or the son may not keep up the family prestige.

Like this, in any relationship, there is a core expectation, which needs to be satisfied and guarded, and this gives rise to fear. I tell you: You can never satisfy any relationship totally. Any one who has tried to please their whole family will only become dropouts!

If a relationship is based out of pure love, with no underlying purpose - the kind of love that we talked about during the Anahata chakra, there will be no fear element at all.

You don’t know what liberation it is when you can move from fear to love. Fear is always imprisoning, love is always liberating. But unless society instills fear into you, you will not listen to it and so it instills fear in you through all possible means – through insecurity, rules, regulations, worship and what not.

Society tries to make saints out of you – saints who fear Existence and everything all the time. I am not here to make saints out you. I am here to make you blissful. When you are blissful, you will be full of life, alive and alert.

Anyhow, fear is what takes the form of jealousy also in our relationships. Fear is the underlying emotion for most of our actions and emotions. Jealousy, anger, greed – all these emotions are rooted in fear. But we are not aware of this. We don’t know that fear is the causative factor for all these. That is the problem. That is why we continue to be in the dark as far as our behavioral patterns are concerned. That is why relationships turn out to be traumatic.

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This excerpt has been taken from the book: Guaranteed Solutions.