Words from the Master

Swamiji, we experience disturbances in other relationships also, like between parents and children…

Yes, in any relationship there are expectations. I don’t think we have any relationship without expectations.

Parents try to chisel children, and children try the same with parents. Parents try to live out their unfulfilled desires through their children. If you deeply analyze the whole thing, you will understand that what I am saying is the truth. Parents dream for their children to become a Doctor or an Engineer. Why not find out from the child what he wants to become and then dream to fulfill that? That would help your child immensely.

The day your child starts back-answering you, that day he has become a man. You have to deal very carefully with him. Spend time with him, talk to him, be a good friend and find out what he really wants to do in life. Guide him with deep love and trust. Then, make his ambition your reality and help him in achieving it.

So many children tell me, “My father wants me to become a doctor or My father wants me to become a lawyer.” Of course, if the child is unable to decide for himself, and he asks you to tell him what to do, you can tell him what he could do based on your observation of his talents and capacity.

You can always suggest, but don’t stuff anything down his throat. Also, make the child understand that you are giving him freedom and maturity in doing this and make it clear to him that there can be no blaming at the end of it. He needs to understand that clearly.

You see, we are always carrying our chisel around and trying to chisel our relatives, friends – even strangers, according to our own imagination. And they in turn are carrying their own chisels, which they are going to try and use on you! What violence!

For homework today, I want you all to note down your ideas on how a perfect husband, a perfect wife, a perfect father, a perfect mother, a perfect child and a perfect friend should be. Choose any five relationships relevant to yourself, and note this down. Do it honestly. I’m sure you’ll find, deep down in your unconscious, all your ideas are drawn from popular media.

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This excerpt has been taken from the book: Guaranteed Solutions.