A small story:
A man fell down from the third floor of the building onto the road.(Laughter!)
A passerby ran up to him and asked, “The falling must’ve hurt you.”
The man replied, “No. The falling did not hurt me; only the sudden stopping hurt me!”
As long as we float and flirt in love, as long as we keep our distances and time short, we are fine; we are in a fantasy world; we are not at the functional level. It is only when the floating stops and the real relationship starts, when the distances reduce and time increases, the problem starts!
The more fantasies you collect, the more is your falling time before you hit the ground, and so more the damage. The lesser fantasies you collect, the lesser the number of things to compare with and lesser the trouble. If you don’t have any fantasy or imagination, you will immediately meet your soul mate. If you don’t have fantasies, anyone you marry will become your soul mate.
We need to understand that no living person can live up to the image we carry in our minds simply because the image is not built from reality! The image is a cut and paste from various quarters of our dream world! No image can be matched with reality - because at the end of the day, it is only an image, a fantasy!
It is alright if you collect your images from real life characters, from the people you see around you. But you collect from media. Media itself is suffering from lust! How then can it provide any sort of guidance or relief to you?
That is why, all the so-called love most often ends in pain. We end up feeling cheated, exploited by the other. Our basic instinct is to blame the other for what has happened.
But is it the other’s fault?
No! The blame always rests with you – because you expected something, and you tried to force your imagination upon the other! Who then is responsible for the failure?
You see, there are some cases where one person starts behaving in an eccentric or irrational way. Those are exceptional cases where you have to decide if you want to continue to live together, with such behavior or not. You cannot apply what I am saying to that. Exceptions are always there.
But what I am saying is what is actually happening in reality in many houses where both the persons are normal and yet there is unrest. But we never try to look into it. We never like to deal with the truth! We always like to sweep things under a beautiful carpet and walk on the carpet cheating ourselves.
When you have a raw wound, isn’t it most logical to treat it immediately and get relief from it? What will happen if instead, you covered it with a gold shield and a silk cloth and believed that you did not have the wound at all? It would be mere foolishness, is it not?
So understand what I am trying to say. Drop your imagination and start living with reality.
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This excerpt has been taken from the book: Guaranteed Solutions.