Words from the Master

Why do we bother so much about others’ opinions about us? Why can’t we judge ourselves by our own strength and continue to do our work? Why are we deriving strength from others? All this is because of two things: One, we don’t know anything about ourselves. We know ourselves only through others’ opinions of us, only through others’ certificates. Second: When others give us their approval and attention, they are actually giving us Energy to move on. Attention IS energy! That is why we feel so boosted when they give us attention.

Attention in any form is alright for us. In most of the houses, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will be constantly fighting with each other. They will be constantly complaining about each other to the poor man, the son or the husband. But for a few days, if one of them goes out of town, what happens? The other starts missing them! Although they are fighting all the time, they miss each other when they are not together!

Why does this happen? When they fight with each other all the time, they are actually getting that much of attention upon themselves from the other person! Don’t think that only positive attention is energizing! Any form of attention is energizing. Both of them subconsciously enjoy the attention that they get from the other when they fight; that is why they miss each other; they actually miss the attention! But when they start missing each other, they term it as love! They say that they miss each other because of love.

Of course, it is perfectly possible; but I want you to understand, that attention is nothing but energy, which keeps us in good spirit. It is a subtle form of energizing ourselves, and we are not aware of this. See understand: When we need something, that something is not love; it is attention. You don’t need love; you are love yourself. So when you say that you need love, when you say that you need to be loved, you are really in need of attention, not love.

People come and tell me that their sons and daughters do not love them enough in their old age. What they really mean is, that their sons and daughters are not giving them the attention, the energy that they need in their old age.

Actually if you see, as we grow older, we should become more and more centered within ourselves out of growing sensitivity to the Existential Energy inside us. But what happens is, because we have been dependent on others for attention and energy all our lives, because the love that we know exists only in relationships, because we have lived with no awareness and sensitivity to what is inside us, when we get older, we start missing the love that came from outside or the attention that came from outside. Your family becomes busy with other things and they don’t interact with you as they used to. So you start complaining with age.

You are actually complaining because even with your so-called experience of life, you have not understood and you don’t have the awareness that your Energy source lies within you and not anywhere outside. That is why, with age, instead of living life with more joy and energy, you live life with reduced energy. Your energy source, that is the people around you no more give the kind of energy they gave earlier.

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This excerpt has been taken from the book: Guaranteed Solutions.