Don't let rules ruin your life!

A SMALL story. A man was addicted to smoking cigarettes. He asked for my help. “Master, please help me quit smoking. I don’t know how I became addicted. Please help me.”

I asked him, “How did you start smoking?”

“Master, I never wanted to smoke. In fact, I hated that smell,” he said. “One day I was talking to my friend on the street. My friend was smoking a cigarette. My father saw us from a distance. He thought I too was smoking. When I went home, he started yelling and shouting at me. He did not listen to me. Then I decided, how does it matter if I smoke now? I have already been punished for it. So, I started to smoke.”

We all get a thrill, a feeling of adventure, satisfaction in doing what we are not allowed to do. When we are asked not to do something, we feel a strong urge to do it. We feel a kind of joy and satisfaction doing it. This is the basic tendency of every human being.

When there is a strict rule, we always try to work around it and go beyond it. How many of us overspeed until we see a cop? We say no to our parents to prove that we are now grownups. We think that we become a man, an adult when we say no. Adults have the power and authority to veto anything by saying no. By saying no, we assume that we also have become adults.

We feel that as long as we say yes, we are children. We feel that we are not mature. When we say no, we think, we assume, that we have become adults. We think that we have matured. This is the basic tendency of every human being.

In western countries, that is why there are so many rebellious groups, gangs and other problems. These people develop a deep satisfaction and taste in saying no. They think it is an expression of self esteem. It is not; it is an emotional illness. Saying no is also an addiction. It is an addiction to one’s identity. It is an addiction to rebelling without reason. It is another way of expressing your ego.

In the ’70s in the US and many other western countries a counter culture developed. That counter culture such as the hippie movement in western USA was a rebellion against society. So long as you are working against something you are likely to get nowhere. You need to work towards something to get somewhere.

Go beyond rebelling against rules. Understand why the rule was created. Work towards that understanding. Then you can either follow the rule or bend the rule or break the rule without guilt, fear or anger.