We are all the time in need of something from someone and so we are continuously paving the way to get it from them in a smooth way. This smooth way is what we call love. Don’t think that this applies to getting material wealth only. It applies to simple things like even when you expect a certain type of behaviour from a certain person. You expect each one’s behaviour to be in a particular fashion and you behave accordingly with them. As long as both of you are behaving in this fashion, you love each other. If someone misses it somewhere, your love takes a momentary dip.
For example, you all claim that you love me very much. Each one of you has got a particular idea of how I should behave towards you. I simply behave towards each of you in the fashion that you expect me to behave. That is what I am doing now actually. What happens? If even once I don’t smile at you or say something to you that does not fit me into your frame, you start thinking that I don’t love you. You feel a momentary loss of love towards me.
You start thinking that maybe I am not so loving after all. The transaction that you call love, immediately suffers. You start imagining your own things about why I said a particular thing to you, or why I did not smile at you.
I might have been talking to someone else, or I might have simply not smiled at you, just to allow your ego to settle a bit, that’s all! But you miss the whole game and start interpreting my actions with your own dictionary of love. What will happen? You will land up in deep misery.
This is how you simply complicate love. At least when it comes to me, there is no complication added to it from my side, because thankfully I am beyond ordinary love! Imagine what will happen when two of you start relating with each other in this fashion? There will be total chaos! You will simply be moving from low love to high love to low love, that’s all!
You have become so interdependent on each other when it comes to your emotions, especially love. The reasons for your interdependency can be so subtle and deceiving that you will not know them until your love violates them. If you can just love without a reason, it is pure love; that’s all. Pure love is not dependent on anything else, it is dependent only on yourself. Be very clear.
People tell me, “Swamiji, we love our children…”
When it comes to putting up with their naughty behavior, how many times have we sworn at them? One girl was telling me at the ashram, “Swamiji, my mother loves my children only if they behave themselves well. She wants me to bring the children to show them off as her grandchildren to her friends and finally lands up scolding me for the chaos that the children create!”
When you see children, you are pulled by their innocence - that is one thing. The second thing is, it gives you a feeling of pride, an ego boost, when you see that they are your creation. And of course, you provide for them and make them happy. But what I am saying is, this love also comes with limitations and preferences. It is highly subjective to the ways of the children.
A small story:
A man was laying a concrete road.
He had just finished laying the road when a group of children from the neighborhood came running onto the road leaving footmarks behind.
The man got very angry and swore at them.
His friend asked him, “Hey, what is the matter? I thought you liked children.”
The man replied, “Yes I do, but not on concrete.”
(Laughter!)
Ordinary love always comes with some condition somewhere; with some vested interest somewhere; with some fine print somewhere. This is what I am trying to say. We love people subject to name, place, moods and situations. It is so subjective.
A Master’s love on the other hand is pure love, real love. It showers without asking a question. It knows not any name, place, mood or situation. Every word uttered by a Master is out of pure love for you, for your own growth. Every action of the Master is filled with love. The only natural emotion of a Master is love. All his other emotions are just affectations that he poses to you to make you understand in the language that you know.
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This excerpt has been taken from the book: Guaranteed Solutions.
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